Category: Boundaries

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Out of Control…

Those who control their tongue will have a long life;
    opening your mouth can ruin everything. Proverbs 13:3 (NLT)

The LORD has used this time of sheltering in place to show me I need to do a better job of controlling my thought life. My grandma used to say, “A still tongue is in a wise head.” How right she was!

Have you ever said something you wish you hadn’t.

I have!

The verse I’m using today speaks directly to the results of speaking without thinking. But I think it speaks to something much deeper. I find when I speak words I would like to take back, it’s because I was thinking those things.

In fact, I was thinking and thinking and thinking those things. Sometimes for days and days and days. Then out they pop. They’re in the atmosphere and impossible to retrieve.

Relationships are dinged up and in need of repair and healing. It’s a total mess and all because I didn’t keep my thoughts on the things of the Spirit. Instead, I focused on the things of the flesh and found myself wallowing in regret.

Yes, I can follow the instructions in 1st John 1:9 to confess my sin and be forgiven and cleansed. I can claim the promise of Romans 8:1 of no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

But in the end, the words are spoken and the wounds are real. Grief follows for all involved because there is a loss of what was. Why?

There are a multitude of reasons, but some of mine are:

Pride

Insecurity

Jealousy

Fear

Fatigue

Anxiety

And did I mention Pride? Too often I find myself thinking I know best. Ugh! No wonder Proverbs 16:18 reminds us of the destruction of pride.

Ephesians 4:29 tells us to use words that build up and give grace to those who hear them.

I definitely want my words to give grace instead of ruin.

LORD, forgive me when I don’t trust You enough to keep my mouth shut. Help me pay better attention to my thought life. Give me wisdom and understanding for those times I need to speak, and discernment and discipline for the times I need to keep my mouth shut.

And LORD, thank You for each one reading this today. I ask a special blessing on their lives. Give them a word of encouragement. Help them control their thoughts and words so they will not find themselves in a place of regret. Thank You. Amen.

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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Goodbyes

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29b (NLT)

Yesterday brought a nice surprise. I was included in George’s retirement telecom, and I got to hear his co-workers share their memories of George and how he had impacted their lives over the years.

You know, I was struck by how similar it was to what happens when someone dies. Yes, I’m sure Daddy’s recent death has made it easier for me to see this, but really!

People do the same when someone dies. Except they’re telling the loved ones all those things instead of the person who touched them.

So, I’m thinking about goodbyes and wondering why it is we wait to tell the people in our lives the different ways they touch us. Is it because we don’t stop to think about it until they’re leaving or gone?

Do we not even notice the gift of their lives until they’re no longer a part of our life?

So today, I’m wondering who it is I’m neglecting to appreciate? Who in my life is a blessing I’m not noticing? Who do I need to give my thanks for their influence in my life? And how can I tell them today?

And what about tomorrow and the next day and the next? I want to practice saying these types of words right in the middle of living life. I want to notice the gift of blessing people are in my life and I want to practice telling them. Who knows how this may encourage them?

LORD, thank You for the people who surround me each day. Help me see them and apprecite them. Help me speak words that bless them as they bless me. Allow me to be an encouragement with my words.

And LORD, for those reading this today, thank You for each of them. Thank You for the people You’ve given them. Help them see the blessing of people in their lives and tell those people right in the middle of the living.

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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Words…

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

To encourage is to give courage.

To give courage, our words must be both good and helpful.

Who are we to encourage?

Those who hear our words.

I’ve always taken this to mean even those who are not even a part of our conversation but are within hearing of our words.

Okay, why am I pulling this thread?

In recent week’s, we’ve been ordered to shelter-in-place for the purpose of stopping the spread of Covid-19.

Wow! I’ve been amazed by the controversy.

I’ve also been sad to hear all the reports of increased domestic violence during this time.

Why are people hurting the very people they’re supposed to love? I’m guessing there are a couple of base level reasons.

1-life feels scary and/or out of control, and

2-aggressive words and behavior give them a feeling of control

Of course, we all know abuse is not control.

Self-control is the ultimate control.

Jesus-followers have an advantage when it comes to self-control. It’s been given to us in full measure.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

What’s the catch? We must take the self-control given to us and use it! And…

We practice, practice, practice using our self-control every single day of our lives!

My old piano teacher used to say, “Practice makes perfect when you practice right.”

So, although I’m not abusive with my words or deeds, I am asking myself what kind of word usage I’m practicing.

Where are my thoughts? I need to know the answer, because my words and actions will soon follow the direction of my thoughts.

LORD, thank You for giving me everything I need to successfully live the full and abundant life You created me to live. Help me be intentional about my thoughts, so my words will bless all those who hear them. I ask alongside David…

May the words of my mouth
    and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14 (NLT)

And, LORD, for those reading this today, I ask You to surround them with Your presence, power, protection, provision, and peace. May they see evidence of You this day. May they know You are there and really do care about them. Amen.

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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Neglect and Defeat!

The new year is here and everyone’s talking about reasons to choose healthy habits, so…

Here’s what I’ve learned about how taking care of myself physically impacts my ability to stand firm when the enemy attacks (Ephesians 6:10-18).

My self-control is weakened when I don’t get proper amounts of exercise, nourishment, and rest. Look at what the Bible says about the importance of self-control.

“A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.” Proverbs 25:28 (NLT)

Studies show exercise releases hormones that help with stress. I try to swim three days a week to control my glucose. I feel better when I exercise, and I definitely sleep better. Unfortunately, I find it is far too easy to let other people and things interrupt my swim time. Feel free to occasionally ask if I’m still swimming; it’ll keep me diligent if I think you’re going to ask.

Food is the body’s fuel. I truly believe God wants us to enjoy the foods we eat (why else would He give us taste buds), but I’ve learned not all foods are beneficial. I must eat the right foods, in the right amounts, if I want my body to function as God intended.

Lack of sleep leaves me irritable, easily frustrated, and stressed over things that don’t usually bother me. I finally set an alarm on my phone, so I will go to bed on time.

Sleep is only one part of rest. Rest also means including margin in my life. This is not an easy thing for me, and presses me to practice better time management.

Rest refreshes me physically, emotionally, and mentally. Better self-care helps me practice self-control.

Taking care of myself makes it easier for me to accomplish the things God created me to do (Ephesians 2:10), while not falling prey to my enemy (1st Peter 5:8).

How about you? Have you ever found yourself more vulnerable to the enemy’s schemes after neglecting your physical health? What are some of the practical ways you take care of your physical health?

Check out some of the benefits of rest here: https://www.eomega.org/article/4-surprising-benefits-of-rest

Check out some of the benefits of exercise here: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-benefits-of-exercise

Check out some of the benefits of eating healthy foods here: https://healthyeating.sfgate.com/5-benefits-proper-nutrition-3664.html

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It Wasn’t Me!

We’ve recently found ourselves in a battle between our insurance company and our auto body repair shop over their shoddy workmanship.

I was sent back to the shop so the original estimator could see the problem. He took a look and then asked, “Do you want us to do the repairs and make a claim with your insurance?”

Thinking I’d misunderstood, I asked, “Aren’t y’all taking care of the repair, since it’s your work?”

They weren’t! I left feeling saddened over the whole situation. Mind you, this is about more than my car. This is about someone I trusted covering up their mistake instead of fixing it. And it’s about them refusing to take responsibility for the results of their cover up.

The very next morning I was reading in Deuteronomy. Look at what Moses said to the people of Israel.

“And the Lord was also angry with me because of you. He said to me, ‘Moses, not even you will enter the Promised Land!” Deuteronomy 1:37 (NLT)

The underlined is my emphasis.

I was surprised, because God’s perspective was very different. The original story is found in Numbers 20:2-13. God is very specific about why Moses wouldn’t enter the Promised Land, and it wasn’t because of the people of Israel. Look at what God says about it.

“But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!” Numbers 20:12 (NLT)

The underlined is my emphasis.

We’re still waiting for our repairs.

Meanwhile, I’m asking the LORD to show me my choices from His point of view. Am I casting blame instead of accepting responsibility? Do I point to the choices of others to justify my response?

How about you? Have you ever had something similar happen to you? Did God teach you something through your experience? If so, please share what you learned in the comments section below.

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New Beginnings

The LORD has been taking me in new directions and He’s brought me to a place I never thought I’d be. Here! Blogging on my own slowly developing website with my own domain.

He’s shifting my boundary lines. I asked Him to pull them back where I was overstepping and push them out where I was not stepping out and living life to the fullest measure. I don’t want to waste what Jesus gave so much to give to me!

“I have come so that they may have life, life in its fullest measure.” Jesus

John 10:10b (CJB)

I’m not sure what I expected when I prayed that prayer, but this was not it. I’m a bundle of nervous energy as I anticipate pressing the launch button. It’s been a roller coaster ride of anticipation and discouragement. I’ve chosen themes and colors only to be locked out the next morning. I’ve talked to multiple tech support people on numerous occasions. I’ve prayed, doubted, cried, and prayed some more.

So today I pressed the button and here I am with you in a new place! Thank you for joining me. I hope you’ll come back often. I plan to be here every Thursday morning.

How about you? Is the LORD changing up your boundaries and/or taking you in new directions? If so, how do you see those changes drawing you closer to Him and helping you live life to its fullest measure?

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