Boundaries – Deep Thoughts & Little Happenings

January 24, 2022

Am I In the Shallows or The Deep?

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks learning from the wind and waves. We all learned this in school, but I haven’t really thought much about before now.

Winds cause waves, and the stronger the wind the bigger the waves.

It wasn’t long before I put the wind and waves into the context of Jesus being the Living Water. I moved from there to Jesus-followers being IN Christ Jesus. I’m a Jesus-follower!

That got me to thinking about all the things pushing me toward shore.

I started paying attention to what gets me stirred up and pushed into the shallows. The place where I’m only ankle deep in Jesus instead of fully submerged.

I found a multitude of both big and little things can “stir me up” and create waves. But when I asked, Jesus helped me see it’s not the circumstances of my relationships and life that are causing the stir. It’s my reactions to and feelings about those circumstances. The more violent my reaction, the more pushed toward shore I become.

BUT…

Did you know the strength of the wind and waves on the surface also determines the amount of pull beneath the surface of the ocean? Yep! It’s absolutely true!!!

God has set into place the laws of this world, and one of those laws is the way He keeps the ocean within its boundaries. He uses an undertow (sometimes He even has to use a rip current) to keep the ocean from totally covering the earth.

This is exciting because the same is true for every Jesus-follower!

Jesus is always willing and able to help us return to Him.

LORD Jesus, I want to surrender to You; and yet, it is so easy for me to allow my thoughts and feelings to control me. I am easily pushed by the words of others and the feelings their words evoke in me. I too often experience the push of events and circumstances beyond my control. I struggle to find your perspective in the middle of my desires. And I fear my struggles, responses, and words will create negative push in the life of others. May it never be! LORD, I want to stay submerged in You. Will You please replace my struggle with surrender? Amen.

You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

April 22, 2021April 22, 2021

Learning from Baseball: Who’s in Charge?

Key Verse:

Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32 (NLT)

Today I’m sharing another spiritual parallel baseball season has me remembering. It is not a new truth, but it is a foundational truth for all Jesus-followers.

There are four umpires in each Major League Baseball (MLB) game. Home Plate Umpire is the one “in charge” of the game. The other three are called Base Umpires and are stationed near the bases. Home Plate Umpire says when play begins and ends. He’s the one who decides if a pitcher throws a ball or a strike or balks. He decides whether a batter checked his swing, foul tips, or is hit by a pitch. He’s also the one who calls the runner safe at home. **

Umpires know how the game is supposed to be played. They know the rules of baseball, and they’re the ones who determine whether the players are safe, out, have or have not committed an infraction, and everything in-between.

Okay, I’m guessing you’ve already recognized the spiritual parallel.

God is the creator of all life. The Bible is His written word, and He is the final authority on what is right and what is wrong. God is the only One who can say whether or not we have met the requirements to safely enter the Kingdom of Heaven (His home).

No worries! He’s made a way. Yes! He’s provided all we need to be on His team and get safely Home.

The way is Jesus!

But what about all the living we do between becoming a part of the team and going home? It’s right there in the middle of living where we learn and practice.

The middle of living is also where we are most susceptible to the danger of forgetting who’s “in charge” and has final authority.

We get distracted by our own point of view. In our daily relationships, conversations, challenges, praises, heartbreaks, surprises, and responsibilities, we forget to remember.

I’m definitely on Team Jesus. I have no worries about going Home. But…

Sometimes I resemble the batter who swings too late or too early and either misses the ball completely or makes a bad connection and pops up, flies out, or hits into a double play. Other times I’m like the batter who gets called out watching.

Either scenario puts me at a crossroad.

Will I argue or accept the call?

I’ve gotten better, but there are times I still catch myself trying to convince the LORD my thoughts, words, or actions (or lack thereof) were right.

Yes, I know this is the same as saying God’s wrong!

Yes! I know I’m not trusting Him or His thoughts and ways.

Yes! I know I struggle against His authority because I’m trusting my own understanding of the situation and focused on my own Point of View.

Maybe that’s why 1 John 1:9 and Romans 8:1 are two of my favorite verses. They’re filled with promise and hope for those of us who forget.

And God is faithful. He always keeps His promises!

Next week we’re going to look at getting the call to be on Team Jesus.

Between Then and Now…

1 Practice daily the disciplines of reading your Bible (listening to God) and praying (talking to God).

2 Take some time to think about the situations when you are most prone to argue your point of view.

3 Ask Jesus to show you what you’re not seeing, what you’re missing, and how to correct the problem and get a hit.

Digging Deeper:

Proverbs 3:5-6, John 3:16, John 14:6, Acts 4:12, Romans 8:1, 1 John 1:9,

If you have not yet met Jesus, you can meet Him today. He created you. He loves you. He wants you to be a part of His family. I encourage you to step into the life He created you to live. You will still have the troubles of this world, but you will no longer be facing them alone. I’m praying for you! https://peacewithgod.net/mobile/?utm_source=Microsoft&utm_medium=CPC&utm_term=HowToGoToHeaven&utm_campaign=USPWGMobileSearchMic

Fun Fact: In 2014, the Instant Replay Review System was implemented – MLB Coaches are now allowed to challenge some calls of the umpire. Reviews are examined by umpires at the Replay Command Center in New York City who have the final decision on whether to uphold or overturn the initial call. ***

** Umpire (Baseball) – Wikipedia

*** Instant Replay in Major League Baseball – Wikipedia

April 15, 2021April 21, 2021

Learning From Baseball: Influence and Impact

Today’s Scripture Passage:

1 Corinthians 12

Key Verse:

If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. 1 Corinthians 12:26-27 (NLT)

If you don’t follow baseball, you might not know the Washington Nationals did not get to play the first four games of this year’s season.

Why? Because four team members tested positive for Covid. And five more players, plus a staff member, were quarantined due to contact tracing.

That’s right! The disease created a rippling effect of impact on the entire team. And it didn’t stop there. It also affected the other teams they were scheduled to play.

Now please don’t misunderstand the point of this. I’m not implying Covid is the result of sin, and I have no idea if the team members’ choices played a part in them contracting Covid. That’s not my intent!

But…

I am thinking about how insidious sin is. Yes! Jesus-followers are not immune. We’re freed from sin and forgiven for our sin, but we must never allow ourselves to forget the dangers of practicing sin.

Sin will infiltrate every fiber of our lives and impact all those around us. Just like Covid infected one member of the team and spread to others. Our sin is like an infection in the body of Christ.

Jesus cautioned His disciples about the “yeast” of the Pharisees and Sadducees.

But Jesus also said the Kingdom of Heaven is like a little “yeast” that spreads throughout an entire batch of dough.

All I want us to think about and remember today is…

We are responsible for our choices and our choices determine what type of influence we are in every one of our relationships.

Are we going to be like the bad company that corrupts good character?

Or are we going to be the faithful companion whose life helps others rise up and become both healthy and beneficial members of the body of Christ?

Digging Deeper:

Psalm 101, Matthew 13:33, Mathew 16:5-12, 1 Corinthians 5, 1 Corinthians 15:33, Galatians 5 & 1 John 1:9

1 Pray before reading this week’s Digging Deeper verses. Ask Holy Spirit to help you understand what you’re reading and how each applies to your life.

2 Who are the people who influence your choices? Are they bad company or faithful companions? What about you? What permeates the lives of those around you?

3 Is there something you need to confess? If so, talk to Jesus about it today. Don’t wait! Forgiveness and cleansing are promised to all who confess their sins.

April 1, 2021April 1, 2021

How to Keep Yourself from Being Taken for a Ride

Today’s Scripture Passage:

Proverbs 15:1-2 & Proverbs 16: 21 & 23-24

Key Verse:

Kind words are like honey—
sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. Proverbs 16:24 (NLT)

I recently received a gift from a friend which included a note about a conversation we were part of several years ago. The words of the note took me back in time and I once again felt the impact of truth shared that day. I felt the joy the conversation created in me all over again.

This was a timely reminder of something I needed to remember.

My thoughts influence my words!

Yes! All of my words! That’s a BIG reminder, right?!

The gift and note reminded me of a time when the words spoken were a blessing. But what about times when critical or careless words are spoken?

Have you ever been wounded by words?

Why? Because words reveal the thoughts of the speaker.

Have you ever wounded someone with your words?

I’m guilty! I too often find my mind returning to the same train of thought. I hop on and allow it to take me for a ride. Before I even realize it, I’m far from where I want to be. The train I’m on is affecting both my words and choices and bringing anything BUT benefit to me or those around me.

“insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.”
This “definition of insanity” first appeared in 1981, in a document published by Narcotics Anonymous.

We must make different choices if we want different results!

Easy to know, but harder to do.

I have every intention of NEVER letting my thoughts return to the same old train, but I often find myself hopping back on and going for another ride.

But how do I stop? I’m learning I must…

1-Be alert to my train of thought and which direction it’s taking me!

2-Be ready to jump on another train of thought – immediately, without hesitation! This requires me to know which thought train I want to ride.

I don’t know about you, but I want my thoughts going in a direction that helps me speak words of life and healing to all who hear them!

We all live a life of influence, but …

What kind of influence are we?

Jesus Journaling:

1 Be aware which train your thoughts are riding.

2 Read Philippians 4:8. Begin memorizing one Bible verse at a time. Use those verses to redirect your thoughts when you find them going in the wrong direction.

3 Read Psalm 19:14. Make these words a daily prayer. Be alert to how the LORD uses your prayers to bring sweetness and healing into your relationships.

FYI: Although I know these truths, I still get on the wrong train of thought and allow my words to deliver hurt instead of healing. I’m praying the words of Psalm 19:14 for myself right alongside you!

March 25, 2021March 25, 2021

How to Be Part of a Controlled Burn

Today’s Scripture Passage:

James 3:1-12

Key Verse:

Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:29-30 (NASB)

Two weeks ago, we were at Deep Cut Trailhead in the Manassas Battlefield National Park (MNBP). It was a beautiful day, but we hadn’t even gotten to the low-lying sections when we found ourselves squishing and sinking with every step. We decided to turn around and come back another day.

One week later, we returned to find something entirely different. The trail was no longer surrounded by fields covered with golden windblown grasses. The gold was now a blackened scar lining each side of the trail and stretching out in all directions. The change was startling.

This was no haphazard burning.

The burns smoothly outlined both sides of the trail.

We were witnessing the aftermath of a controlled burn!

This week we were on another MBNP trail when we saw a Park Ranger and stopped to chat. He asked if we’d been to Deep Cut since the burn.

Turns out he was one of the rangers who watched from afar. He was still excited about seeing professionals from all over the state use their knowledge and equipment the day of the burn. He was also eager to share his experience.

Did you know the MBNP does a controlled burn twice a year? They do! He explained the benefits. He talked about all the time and effort required to plan and execute such a precise burn. He shared the months of planning and coordination required between the park and the one who would eventually oversee and be held responsible for the results of the burn.

He told us those assisting with the burn must be qualified fire fighters. They must also be unwavering in their commitment to follow instructions throughout the entire process.

I was barely walking away before I was hit with the spiritual parallel.

There is a big difference between burning a field and a controlled burn.

The timing and conditions must be exact. Those doing the planning must know the importance of both. They must also know how to keep track of them. Delays and cancellations of a burn are sometimes necessary. Burns are not done unless all conditions are right. Burns are not done if the timing is not exact.

To burn at the wrong time or under the wrong conditions can bring destruction instead of benefits!

It is much better to cancel a burn than to burn at the wrong time or under the wrong conditions!

So, what’s the parallel? The Bible (God’s written word) tells us…

Our God is a consuming fire; He uses fire to refine our faith and test our works. God lives in all those who have been saved by faith in Jesus and are sealed with His Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit baptizes us by fire at the time of our salvation. This is the fire God uses to test and refine our faith.

The Bible is also very clear about the fire in our tongues. Yes! What James wrote about the tongue was written to those who were already Jesus-followers.

So, who’s the expert on a controlled burn? Holy Spirit!

Holy Spirit uses our tongue (words) when we are completely committed to following His instructions. Using the right words at the right time and in the exact right conditions will bring benefit to those who hear them.

Even the right words at the wrong time or in the wrong conditions can do damage and grieve Holy Spirit.

Read today’s verses again…

Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

I do not believe it’s an accident these verses were written to us in back-to-back order.

Our words are supposed to give grace to those who hear them.

BUT

We grieve Holy Spirit whenever our words do not give grace to the hearer.

I think words that grieve Holy Spirit must be the careless words Jesus was talking about in Matthew 12:36. Look at what He said, “But I tell you that for every careless word that people speak, they will give an account of it on the day of judgment.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m all too often guilty of using careless words!

And since my words originate in my thoughts, I can only assume when my words grieve Holy Spirit, my thoughts grieve Holy Spirit too!

“May the words of my mouth
and the thoughts of my heart
be acceptable in your presence,
Adonai, my Rock and Redeemer.” Psalm 19:15 (CJB)

For the curious…

There is already new growth at Deep Cut (we went to look). That’s Right! The controlled burn removed what was not healthy and made room for new growth. How’s that for exciting?!

Jesus Journaling:

1 Take some time to remember the most encouraging words others have spoken to you. What was it about those conversations that influenced you to make wise choices that were pleasing to the LORD?

2 Spend some time thinking about your conversations during this past week. How many of your words were spoken (or written) carelessly? Ask Jesus to make you sensitive to His timing and conditions in every conversation.

3 Talk to Jesus about learning a new way of thinking, so your words will give grace to the hearers and won’t grieve Holy Spirit.

Digging Deeper:

Matthew 3:11, Acts 2:3, 1st Corinthians 3:12-14, Hebrews 12:28-29, & 1st Peter 1:6-8

March 4, 2021March 4, 2021

Will You Help a Friend in Need?

Today’s Scripture Passage:

Matthew 7:1-5

Key Verse:

Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. Matthew 7:5 (NLT)

It’s easy to read today’s passage of Scripture and zoom in on the get the log out of your own eye. But look at the end of verse 5 again, “then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”

Jesus did NOT say get the log out of your own eye then leave your friend struggling with the speck in her eye.

We’ve all experienced the irritation of having something in our eye. Our eye waters and becomes painful and distracting. We’re battling a tiny speck we can’t see but know is there. We need help and finally give up and ask someone else to take a look.

The same is true of our spiritual eyes. Sometimes, we just can’t see what’s is causing all the trouble. We know something is there. We feel the irritation and painful effects, but it’s as impossible to see as a speck in our physical eye.

That’s when God’s grace provides a friend to help us. This is a friend who loves us at all times…yes, even when we’re not at our best and struggling with a “speck” of sin. This is a friend who is humble and gentle at heart, loves us enough to draw near, look closely, and do the delicate work of hurting us to help us.

God’s grace comes to us in many ways, but I think fellow believers are some of the most wonderful and miraculous gifts of God’s grace in our lives. Why? It takes a true friend to remove a speck with love and without condemnation; a friend with a genuine desire to help us when we are in pain and our eyes are full of tears.

I’m thankful to have more than one friend willing to speak truth to me. Truth spoken from a place of genuine love. Admittedly, it hurts! And I can struggle with feeling offended or a need to defend myself. It doesn’t matter that I know I had a speck or needed help. It doesn’t even matter that I asked for help. The pain of seeing my “speck” of sin always sends me scurrying away for some serious Jesus time.

It usually starts with a good old-fashioned vent and cry session. After I calm down, Jesus helps me move from godly sorrow to repenting and confessing. That’s when His forgiveness and cleansing come. Oh what joy!

Oh! One other thing I’ve noticed is the clarity of hind sight. Once a speck is removed, I can see how Holy Spirit uses my relationships, circumstances, and God’s word to prepare me to accept the truth of my sin and my need for help.

I’ve learned, no matter how painful the process, the removal of a “speck” of sin brings blessing. The longer a speck is in the eye, the more damage is done and the higher the risk of long-term consequences.

So, next time a friend comes to you, shares a pain, and asks if you see a speck in their eye, don’t talk yourself out of sharing the truth of what you see. Remember you’re the one they’ve come to for help. They trust you to speak truth in love.

Jesus didn’t tell us not to help our friend. He said to be sure our own eyes are free of debris before we help.

Jesus Journaling:

1 When you’re struggling with a speck you can’t see yourself, do you ask someone for help? If yes, who and why did you choose that person? If no, why not?

2 What are some early signs of a speck you’ve come to recognize in your own life?

3 What causes you to doubt yourself when it comes to helping a friend with a speck?

Digging Deeper:

Proverbs 17:17, 2 Corinthians 7:10, Ephesians 4:14-16, 1 John 1:9

February 18, 2021February 17, 2021

Surrendered and Spirit Strong

Today’s Scripture Passage:

Galatians 5:22-25

Key Verse:

A person without self-control
is like a city with broken-down walls. Proverbs 25:28 (NLT)

The ability to control another is only a mirage.

mirage noun
something that appears real or possible but is not in fact so.
Oxford Dictionaries · Bing Translator

I have learned but must be reminded…

I cannot control anything but myself!

You cannot control anything but yourself!

control
the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.
Oxford Dictionaries · Bing Translator

I have learned but must be reminded…

I cannot control myself without help!

You cannot control yourself without help!

Will power is not enough!

Imagine you’re driving in a downpour of rain. You grip the steering wheel with white knuckled hands against heavy winds forcing you toward the center line. Sooner or later exhaustion takes over and you’re jerked into oncoming traffic. This is the struggle of will power.

That’s why Jesus gives ALL of His followers a Helper!

Our Helper’s name is Holy Spirit.

Holy Spirit teaches, counsels, and reminds us of what we’ve already learned from Jesus about belonging to Him and being His follower.

Holy Spirit is our Helper whenever we do not understand, are unsure of, or forget the way of Jesus.

Holy Spirit helps us control our thoughts, our words, and our actions.

Many will seek to manipulate, deceive, and bully us into doing their will, but…

No matter how limited our choices, the choice is still ours to make.

Even when every choice leads in a way we don’t want to go, the choice is still ours to make.

We’re always free to choose what’s right.

To believe anything else is to be deceived.

Today’s verse reminds us a city without walls is vulnerable to attack from the enemy, and a life lived without self-control makes us vulnerable to attack from our enemy. Our enemy prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. Our enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He’s the enemy of every Jesus-follower. Our accuser who wants us to live in the shame and condemnation of our old identity. Our enemy who wants us to forget our identity is in Jesus!

His name is Satan; and long ago, he refused to surrender his will to the Lordship of Jesus. Now, he wants us to do the same. He wants us separated from Jesus and vulnerable. He wants us to be distracted, discouraged, and defeated. He cannot rob us of our eternity, but he will do everything possible to turn our eyes from Jesus.

I have learned but must be reminded…

Self-control comes from Holy Spirit.

Self-control is only one of Holy Spirit’s nine characteristics; they’re called the fruit of the Spirit.

fruit
what is produced
can be taken from; seized, plucked, to take for oneself
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of The Bible – Greek Dictionary

Like fruit on a tree, Holy Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Holy Spirit’s fruit is ours to seize, pluck, take for ourselves.

I have learned but must be reminded…

The only thing I can control is myself, and self-control comes from my Helper, Holy Spirit.

Seizing Spirit self-control gives me (and you) strength to surrender to the way of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, while living faithful to Jesus and His way.

I have learned but must be reminded…

I am Spirit strong when I am surrendered to the way of Jesus.

LORD, we’re so thankful to be citizens of Your Kingdom. We’re thank You for the privilege of being your representative in the foreign land we live in now. Help us to grow in our relationship with You, so we will represent You well. Give us compassion and courage and teach us to love those around us as You love them. We want to love as citizens of Heavens and not citizens of this world!

Digging Deeper:

John 10:10, John 14:16-17 & 26, Romans 8:1-2, 1 Corinthians 2;15-16, Ephesians 6:10-18, 1 Peter 2:10 & 1 Peter 5:8,

January 14, 2021January 14, 2021

Weary? Want to Drop It All and Run?

Today’s Scripture Passage:

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

Last week we looked at Jesus’ invitation, but who was He talking to when He said “Come to Me”?

“ALL of you who are weary.”

weary adjective
1: exhausted in strength, endurance, vigor, or freshness
Miriam Webster online dictionary

Does weary describe you?

If so, Jesus is speaking to you!

“ALL of you who carry heavy burdens.”

carry verb
1: to support and take from one place to another
Miriam Webter online thesaurus

What are you carrying?

burden noun
1a: something that is carried : LOAD
b: DUTY,
RESPONSIBILITY
Miriam Webster online dictionary

Are your burdens heavy?

If so, Jesus is speaking to you!

Next week we’re going to look at Jesus’ promise to all who accept His invitation to come to Him.

Between Now and Then…

1 Take time to make a list of the things you are currently carrying. These should include physical, emotional, and spiritual burdens.

2 Take Jesus up on His invitation. Go to Him. Take your list of burdens with you. Ask Him to show you which things on your list are ones He has given you to carry and which ones He did not.

3 Listen and be alert for His answer.

Digging Deeper:

Psalm 34:1-3 & 1 Peter 5:7

July 30, 2020July 29, 2020

Hardship!

Today’s Scripture Passage:

Hebrews 12:1-11

Key Verse(s):

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:7 & 11 (NIV)

Hebrews is a great book, and chapter twelve is my favorite. I feel like Jesus is pulling me up close to His side and redirecting my line of sight every time I read it.

I can almost hear Him asking me to be still for a minute and consider the hardships of my life from His point of view.

It’s like He’s inviting me to exchange my understanding of hardship for His. He’s gently realigning my perspective, and giving me the ability to see hardship as training instead of trouble.

Verse seven informs us hardship and discipline are interchangeable. Verse eleven explains the purpose for discipline is training.

Verse eleven also includes a promise. His training produces a “harvest of righteousness and peace.”

I think the role of hardship is important to every Jesus-follower. We’re being trained to live well in our freedom. Jesus bought our freedom from sin and death. He paid a high price to give us the opportunity to choose between freedom and slavery.

Slavery forbids choice. Freedom requires we make our own choices. Will we choose to submit and practice what the hardships of life are teaching us, or will we submit to our flesh and it’s cravings?

My flesh kicks against the training I gain through hardship. I don’t want to face financial difficulties, heath problems, broken relationships, or death. But it’s not just those big things my flesh kicks against. My flesh doesn’t like to clean the toilets, vacuum, dust, empty the dishwasher, or exercise. My flesh would love nothing more than to spend each day eating good food, reading mystery/suspense novels, and chatting with family and friends while sitting on the beach.

Sounds good, right? Well, maybe your flesh would like something different, but you get my point. That kind of thinking sets me up for a miserable existence of whining and complaining. A life lived missing the adventure and blessings of the LORD’s freedom training.

LORD, help us not be discouraged by the hardships of life. Instead, bless us with the ability to learn from You. Teach us how to live well in the freedom You’ve given us. May we learn to choose wisely and be bold in our confidence in You. Amen.

If you haven’t yet chosen the freedom Jesus has for you, use the following link and find out how to start living in His freedom today. I’m praying for you! https://peacewithgod.net/mobile/?utm_source=Microsoft&utm_medium=CPC&utm_term=HowToGoToHeaven&utm_campaign=USPWGMobileSearchMic

June 11, 2020June 11, 2020

Listen More and Talk Less

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 (NLT)

I chose today’s verse because I felt like it was the perfect backdrop for what I’m sharing today. It’s a Facebook post written by my long time friend, Sarah Bramblett. Sarah and I met years ago in Iceland when our husbands were stationed at NAS Keflavik, Iceland. We haven’t lived in close proximity a lot since then, but for a short period of time our duty stations did a quick overlap in Virginia Beach. Fortunately, the world has become much smaller with the help of the internet.

Sarah is not only my friend, she’s an amazing woman. She’s a grandma now. She and her husband are currently taking flying lessons, so they can “go see the grandkid and kids” and her dad too. She’s smart, funny, and always learning. She’s a Jesus-follower who is always looking for ways to use what she’s learned to bring help and healing to those around her. No! She’s not pushy about it; she’s just super kind and compassionate. She’s willing to invest her time, energy, and resources to help anyone in need. She’s generous, but also wise enough to recognize when just coming alongside someone is all the help they really need. For more about Sarah, you can read her bio at the bottom of this post. And just in case you’re wondering, I did ask Sarah’s permission.

“Long post here…but I’ve had to take time to find what I want to say with the right words. I tried to be concise and not muddy the message. I suspect most, if not all of you, will feel about the same, but I wanted to say it anyway.

I want to share some things I’ve learned in life. Everyone wants to feel included and that they belong. They need to know they matter. When people don’t feel heard and understood, they repeat themselves – sometimes more loudly or aggressively, and often simplifying the message. The more important their view is to them, the more effort they will put into getting their message across. Being told “I heard you” only works if there is matching action. The listener does not have to agree, but they have to engage to let the speaker know they are being heard. They have to be “present”. This is the only way to let the speaker feel heard and that they matter. If this is not done, the connection and conversation cannot proceed – nothing will get resolved.

The current social tensions are just like this. Part of our people feel like they don’t matter to the other part of the people and that their needs to be included and belong are ignored. This is, literally, a life and death situation for them. Because it is important that the rest of the population hears and understands, they are getting louder, simplifying the message, and sometimes getting more aggressive in the delivery. This is to be expected in a life and death situation. The rest of the people need to not only hear, but engage with presence. Being present is listening, not challenging the message, confirming you heard and understood the speaker’s message by sharing your understanding of what you heard, and giving the speaker the right to express their feelings – even though it’s uncomfortable. Doing this does not take away your place at the table, it allows everyone a place at the table. It allows everyone to belong and to matter. It allows us all to de-escalate so we can connect and proceed. We need a collaborative discussion and focused problem solution to make sure that law breakers are still caught, but officers and civilians are not hurt, and no one is left feeling like they don’t matter. Because they do.

These are just my thoughts, based on what I know about people and how they interact. I don’t know anyone who is so ignorant as to say black people are not as valuable, or human, as white people, but I know several black people that would say they don’t feel safe, protected, or valued. That breaks my heart and I hate that I can see why. That means there is evidence in the world that their feelings are justified. I cannot change anyone else. All I can do is to add my voice to the call to find real, effective change and to make a space at the table on either side of me and be present.” -Sarah Bramblett

LORD, soften my heart to hurt when others hurt. Help me to cry over the things that make You and others cry. Teach me to listen, to quietly stand with those who are hurting, speak out against injustice, and freely offer hope to the hopeless.

And LORD, for those reading this today, please help them know just how much You love them. Help them know You didn’t make a mistake when You created them in their mother’s womb. They are fearfully and wonderfully made. And help those around them to see them as the beautiful, lovable, and valuable individuals they are. Thank You for making each one. Thank You for the unique harmony they bring to the music of life. Amen.

Sarah’s bio: Sarah grew up in a Christian military family. She has been married 28 years, raised 2 children, and is blessed to be a grandmother now. She was exposed to cultural diversity at an early age and it remained a way of life for her throughout her entire life. She has lived in 4 countries outside of the United States and learned to appreciate different values and cultures. She was truly surprised at the differences when, after her husband retired from a military career, she moved away from the “military towns” she had always lived in and ended up in a place where there was very little diversity. She became a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in 2008 and has worked with a multitude of different families and individuals, finding ways to help them resolve problems through developing insight, increasing communication skills, and growing deeper connections with themselves and others. There is so much that goes into each person’s and each relationship’s development, but ultimately, it comes down to people knowing they are not alone, that someone cares, that someone is with them in their struggles and their joys.